To Half or Not To Half?

I'm dealing with an interesting dilemma.

I ran the Orange County Half Marathon in 2011 and came in with a time of 2:32:16. It was a great time for me. I was coming off of two back-to-back fitness challenges where I lost about 30 pounds, and I was at a personal low weight of 128 pounds. I was not a runner.

Looking back now, I know that I went about my weight loss challenges in an extremely unhealthy way. I was eating 1,200 calories per day and exercising for at least an hour a day, six days a week. I honestly don't know how my body lasted.

Over the last three years, I have had a dramatic change in my relationship with diet and fitness. I eat cleaner. I eat A LOT more ( I average about 2,200 calories per day). And I focus on lifting heavy and maintaining a solid three mile base in my running. At 5'6", I now clock in at 150 pounds, give or take. And I'm definitely the most fit and healthy I've ever been.

That was a weird tangent.

I had a point.

The point: I'm considering running the Fontana Days Half Marathon on June 7. It's an all downhill course that's supposed to be one of the fastest in the country. It sounds kick ass. It's also only $50, which is crazy inexpensive for a half marathon 'round these parts.

However, when I started running in October, I told myself I would stick to shorter races. Mostly 5ks and sprinkle in a 10k every now and then. I want to be a runner. I don't want to push too hard, too fast and burn out.

When I ran my first half in 2011, that's exactly what I did. I wasn't eating right, training right, wearing the right shoes or clothes. I fumbled about on the treadmill and limped through long runs on Saturday. I faked it. Then the half came and went. I did well. And I didn't run again for over a year.

I'm a very different person now than I was three years ago. If I sign up, I don't think I will burn out. I am a runner now. But there's still a part of me that's afraid that I'd be pushing too hard. I want to run this race, but I still don't want to commit to it.

So my plan is to start training for it without signing up. I have modified Hal Higdon's  Intermediate Training Program taking out one of the run days, because I know from experience that I can't swing five run days in a week.

As my long weekend runs progress through the weeks, I think I'll get a better feel for whether or not I want to tackle 13.1 again. If I'm not enjoying the longer distances, then I will drop the training plan altogether. I'll run the 5k that day instead, and it's still a win.

So this is the plan. I will start doing a weekly recap on Sunday's to examine what worked and what didn't, and keep tabs of how I'm feeling about the half along the way. Let's get 13.1 (maybe).